Trust me, I know how obvious that sounds, but I once had a mentor who met with me weekly, while simultaneously checking his laptop, iPad, and iPhone. It is difficult to be deeply curious if we are not actively paying attention. Powerful Questions are those that are deeply curious, open-ended, and non-judgmental. Being present in today’s age of technology, distractions, and instant gratification has proven to be challenging. Don’t get me wrong – I have lots of questions I would like to ask pretty much everyone, but I had to first learn to listen before I got to ask Powerful Questions. I am here to tell you that even as a professional coach these are still difficult for me. How do we help others achieve moments like “James” and his discovery of Spiritual Endurance?” The answer is Powerful Questions. After some questions about why he admires his dad, he landed on a desire to experience “Spiritual Endurance.” This epiphany was a highlight for me as a coach seeing the peace he found when given the tools to bring out his own brilliance. During a chat about Person al Growth, he discussed his dad. Initially, he rated this category a “5” but would love to see what achieving an “8” feels like in a few months. The goal is not to reach a “10” in every category, but instead to have a wheel that looks and feels in balance.įor example, client “James” shared that he wanted to increase his level of satisfaction surrounding Personal Growth. A coach uses this information to help you grow in each area, and more importantly to strive for balance between the areas. It is important to note that the Wheel is used to measure satisfaction and not success, because the ratings change over time. This tool was first introduced to me by CTI, and it is used to help an individual gauge their satisfaction in eight different areas. Coaches help those they are privileged to walk alongside, rest easy knowing they are not alone.Ī great place to begin a coaching journey is to fill in the Wheel of Life (WOL). Often people in positions of leadership can find themselves feeling isolated. Coaches empower them to recognize that fine line between crazy and innovative. As a coach, there is the opportunity to be amazed by the transformation someone can make – sometimes during one conversation, because they were asked, “what’s on your mind?” A developing individual can see opportunity and clarity with the resource of a coach to guide them. If you try to help a butterfly out of his cocoon, he will not develop the muscles needed to fly. How can we have the right answer to another person’s dreams or aspirations? Leaders often think “I’m in charge” “I have to have all the answers” (as one misguided leader told me over a decade ago) or “it’s my job to get things right.” When we give out solutions like a lollipop at the doctor, we deny others an opportunity to grow. My favorite fictional coach Ted Lasso mis-quotes Walt Whitman as saying, “Be Curious, Not Judgmental.” Regardless of who said it, this mantra continues to inspire me and my own curiosity.Ĭoaching is not about providing solutions. It led me to be mindful of asking questions that help people gain clarity and see what they already knew was right. My experience encouraged me to offer patience and curiosity. In fact, sometimes I made time for those NOT on my team.
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Her message was centered around a central theme “make time for your people.” In the years that followed working for Karen, I made more time for those I was privileged to lead. She gave me time to discuss ideas and weigh pros and cons, before realizing I already knew what I needed to do. Many times, I had the answers but could not access them because of the mess of information floating through my operations-minded brain.
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When I came to her with a challenge, she put down her phone, shut off her computer, and listened. The Co-Active Training Institute (CTI) defines coaching as “Partnering with individuals in a thought provoking, creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” It allows the opportunity to help others find the best version of themselves, to be the best leaders for their team, and in many cases find balance so they can be present for their families.ĭuring my 20 years in the hospitality industry, I have had the opportunity to work with some amazing people and to be honest some really challenging ones also, but my best boss was present.